In answer to your questions... :)

The reader of another blog contacted me this morning regarding some comments I had made on another discussion. I won’t link to it because it would be a TON of reading to catch up, but I’ll summarize it in a nutshell…


A woman struggling through infertility posted on her blog about a very recent (as in, the funeral has not yet taken place) death in her family. Sadly, the person who tragically died was the mother of a brand new three-week-old baby. The point of the blog post was not to discuss the tragedy of the accident, but rather, it was to discuss how badly she wanted that baby, and when it would be best to approach the new widower about the subject. To her delight, she didn’t have to worry about how to approach it because another family member had the same idea. She wanted to adopt the baby, but only if the other woman didn’t want the baby first. (Oh, do I wish I had emoticons.) A fellow blogger asked her (in a very self-controlled way, I might add) to please consider how backwards her thinking was on this. The initial blogger (Alicia) expressed that she believed this tragedy was God’s way of orchestrating the opportunity for her to finally become a mother. The commenter (Christina) tried to offer that adoption is not designed to find babies for people who want them, but rather, to provide homes for children who need a home. In the case of this newborn, he already had a capable father who was still in shock grieving his wife’s sudden death. How could this child possibly be viewed as someone who did not have a home or someone to care for him? Anyway, it just got out of hand, and rather than responding to Christina’s questions, Alicia pulled the “do you know where you would go if you died tonight” card and went off on a very inappropriate and unrelated tangent sharing the plan of salvation with Christina. It was a trainwreck. I left some comments, trying to offer the perspective of another Christian who felt it was an inappropriate venue, and another commenter who was in agreement with Alicia came to my blog and had a couple of questions for me.

He was very respectful, and I want to answer him honestly, so here is what he posed to me:

“Hi Jenni,

You posted a comment on another blog and instead of replying there since it is off the main point of the post I thought would come to your blog.  You profess to be a Christian, so if I was not a Christian and had 3 minutes left to live, what would you say to me?  Also, when is it an appropriate time to share your faith and when isn't it?  Thank you for your time.”

So this is to the poster, known as Galatians 2:20, and anyone else who might be wondering the same thing…

I don’t mind answering your question at all. :)  Although, because your question stems from the discussion over on the other blog, I think it is imperative to set my comments and my explanation of them within the proper context.

I absolutely believe with all of my being that as Christians it is our duty and privilege to bring the gospel to others. No doubt about it. You asked if you were an unbeliever and had 3 minutes left to live, what I would share with you. Well, without a doubt, I would compel you to look to Christ. I would be very compassionate yet direct with you about what God tells us about eternity. But here is the thing: In the context of the other blog conversation, it was not a life and death moment, not a moment in which all else should be cast aside and an urgent plea made. It was just totally inappropriate. The discussion at hand was about adoption, where Christina outlined her concerns over Alicia’s view on adopting her family member’s baby. Alicia did not address Christina’s questions at all, but rather dismissed them entirely, and then proceeded to go completely off-topic and cite every misinterpreted verse in the Bible where she believes that adoption has God’s stamp of approval. On top of that, she then goes into a detailed sharing of the gospel, which automatically falls on deaf ears because she has just finished dismissing everything Christina said. Sharing Christ is not about ignoring everything else about a person and forcing them onto the topic of total depravity and Christ’s atonement. If you mistreat a person, dismiss them, plug your ears as you hum la-la-la, and then plunge into, “Do you know where you would go if you died tonight?” they are not going to hear anything you have to offer them, no matter if it is truth.

I am an absolute living trophy of God’s grace. I am one hundred percent a Saul turned Paul. It overwhelms me daily that God would love me and have mercy on me when I was doing everything I could to run away from Him. But I can’t help anyone see how amazing and beautiful that is if I treat them rudely right before I offer it. We must treat people with compassion and grace. If we cannot be kind to them, our sharing of the gospel means nothing because we are more concerned with spreading our message than with authentically reaching people and seeing a change in them.

I Corinthians 13 speaks plainly on this. It tells us that “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

I don’t want to be a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. I want to be patient and kind with those who do not share my faith. I do not want to be rude or seek to make my point at all costs (even if my point is to share the gospel). I would rather show love to the person by listening to them, valuing them as a person (translate: love them as ones for whom Christ died) and seek to gain their respect and trust so that they might receive what I have to say at the appropriate time regarding their need for Christ and the truth of the gospel. We can’t blindside people by attacking them with Scripture and trying to scare them into eternity. We must compel them with our own lives as examples of what the love of God, the death of Christ, the power of the resurrection and the keeping of the Holy Spirit can do to change our lives forever.

I have heard it wisely said before that sharing the gospel is not JUST sharing the gospel. It is sharing your own soul with another person. I Thessalonians 2 is a wonderful expression of this. Bear with me in reading the first twelve verses:

“For you yourselves know, brethren, that our visit to you was not in vain; but though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had the courage in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the face of great opposition. For our appeal does not spring from error or uncleanness, nor is it made with guile; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please men, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never used either words of flattery, as you know, or a cloak for greed, as God is witness; nor did we seek glory from men, whether from you or from others, though we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. BUT WE WERE GENTLE AMONG YOU, LIKE A NURSE TAKING CARE OF HER CHILDREN. SO, BEING AFFECTIONATELY DESIROUS OF YOU, WE WERE READY TO SHARE WITH YOU NOT ONLY THE GOSPEL OF GOD BUT ALSO OUR OWN SELVES, BECAUSE YOU HAD BECOME VERY DEAR TO US.


For you remember our labor and toil, brethren; we worked night and day, that we might not burden any of you, while we preached to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our behavior to you believers; for you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to lead a life worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”

This doesn’t mean that I have secret motives when I befriend a person who does not think like me. I am not lying in wait for the perfect opportunity to pounce on them or back them into a corner and spoon feed Scripture to them. It means that I believe that there are times for frank discussions, and there are times for LIVING my faith as an example. I must first take an interest in them as a person if their soul will truly mean anything to me. Otherwise, we reduce people to another check mark in the wall… one more notch in our “witnessing” belts. Ugh. I grew up in a Christian school that routinely emphasized in its chapel services that it was of importance to win as many souls as possible to Christ.  But it was done in a way that reduced people to a notch on a belt, another point on the score card, as if it was some type of competition or evidence of being "more holy" if you had led the most people to the Lord.  I don’t think this is the heart of Christ. People are not to be notches in our belts.  I have a very distinct memory of being in junior high in one of those chapel services with the preacher going on and on about this and feeling like a complete and total loser because at the age of 12 I had never led anybody to the Lord.  ??? Seriously.

You must also understand that the world of adoption is a place in which far too many people have been immeasurably wounded by religion, selfishness and greed disguised as ministry, and covetousness backed by biblical accounts of adoption. It breaks my heart. There are a lot of people out there spouting off Bible verses who don’t have any real knowledge. They are just regurgitating things they have heard elsewhere. It is damaging and well, just plain wrong. It harms the cause of Christ way more than it helps it. I will even go as far as to say that I think Satan rejoices when this type of thing happens because he knows it complicates things even further and causes a greater divide between truth and what is just commonly and blindly accepted about adoption. Very sad, indeed.

Anyway, now I have written way more than you wanted to read, so I apologize for that. I am at home with sick kids today, so there isn’t much I can do besides sit here with two little girls snuggling me on the couch. I’m not complaining, though. :)  I hope you’ll stick around to read more and hear what others have to say. And I hope I answered your questions sufficiently.  Thanks for listening.